'I' vs 'I'

Updated: Jul 8

How to get rid of your ego 'I' ?



There are two types of ‘I’, ‘I’ as ego and ‘I’ as self.


And all my life I was aware of only one ‘I’ as an ego. Like all others, I lived with this ‘I’ and followed it unquestionably and implicitly. It guided me through childhood, adolescence and adulthood. For me, it was everything; friend, philosopher and guide. I believed in it and trusted it blindly. I liked it and it gave me a sense of vanity. It taught me the rules of life and I adhered to them religiously. Riding on ego is like riding on a horse… It's a royal feeling, isn’t it?


Yes, We all are proud of ‘I’, why not. It’s obvious, it is our identity to live in this world. All our life we strive hard to build it stronger and when we succeed, we feel exceptionally proud of it. And when we fail, we get dejected and live with a sense of being a loser.

No doubt, the Ego brings misery and suffering. Sometimes I wonder, where this entire struggle leads us to… Ironically, towards the end… Death. And with our death the ‘I’ (ego), our identity dies off… Then why this entire chaotic and worthless struggle of an individual to achieve something that is not perennial, but utterly mortal. And the reality is that our ‘I’ (ego) is not immortal and soon vanishes away from the face of the earth, forever. And only remains a name, which is sometimes cherished by a few or more for some period of time. That’s it.


The ego is connected to the body and the body develops the ego. The body has wants; wishes, desires, dreams, and goals. In such a case, the mind is dictated by our body and thus our ‘I’ (ego) is completely under the influence of the body which results in actions that define our path of life.


When I was a child, I was told that our reflection in the mirror is what we are. So I kept a track of my reflection and built myself; observing it and developing it accordingly. And at every juncture in life, the mirror helped me to create my identity. We all firmly believe in the mirror and judge ourselves through the reflection it casts in it. That’s the only parameter we have…


Reflection in the mirror is an illusion. If the reflection is an illusion, so is our ego, our identity and our body.


Till the time, we happen to see our reflection in the mirror and remain influenced by its presence, we are going to have only one side of the knowledge of ‘I’ and remain unaware of the other side, a more profound understanding of ‘I’...the other ‘I’ of ourself.


The awareness of other ‘I’ is only realized when the reflection fades off or we don’t see our reflection in the mirror, at all. Interestingly, We acquire a vision to see beyond our body and the ‘I’ without the body or without the influence of the body is called self… Pure Self.


The pure self ‘I’ has no wishes, desires, dreams and goals… it’s purely only ‘self’. And when we intend to search this form of ‘I’, we happen to subtly erase our reflection in the mirror and our fake identity which we believe to be true. In this process, the true identity is only achieved, when we see ourselves in the mirror as a formless and bodiless being. Attaining this stage is an arduous task.


It’s like standing in front of the mirror consistently and overriding one’s reflection of the body and staring at the reflection which exists yet unseen, which can be felt or realized by contemplating and meditating over it relentlessly, one can clearly experience its perpetual existence… And soon will be able to attain the knowledge of the unknown and unseen that is the ever prevailing existence of ‘self’ within us.


This self ‘I’ is the truth and is our true identity which we possess for many life journeys. This ‘self’ is not visible in the mirror so is not an illusion but a real one.


One's resolute understanding of the ‘self’ is only possible if one persistently meditates inwardly. Soon this experiment will result in the experience of voyaging in an infinite space within and ultimately connecting to the space of Oneness, which gives the seeker an ecstatic and divine experience of the supreme self.

Author

Manojan


Copyright © 2022 Manoj Sawant





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